milk and eggs

I went to the grocery store today. My stomach was hurting really badly so I fastened a heat-pack to my abdomen. It bulged out of my coat a little bit, made me look fat. But I figured the eggs and milk wouldn’t mind.
As I entered the store, I received a series of suspicious looks. This continued as I pushed my cart in procession down the isles.
As I neared the check-out counter, I felt the heat-pack loosening in its stirrups. The lady working the cash register looked at me with the same dubiety as everyone else. When the heat-pack fell out of my shirt and flopped onto the floor she was the first to hit the deck and cover her head with her hands. “BOMB!!!!” she shouted. The entire mass dropped to the ground and did the same.
I stood there waiting for someone to lift his or her head. No one did.
I bent over and picked up my heat-pack, pseudo bomb, and headed for the exit. People began standing and sighing with relief, so I pulled out my water gun. And all hell broke loose.